This Day

 I said to God, "Lord, I miss being at your service"...

   I just said that this afternoon because I accidentally saw a video where I was serving as a cajonist at a worship service with PMFS. It gave me goosebumps and as if there was something in my heart that was about to cry because I realized that I had taken such a step away from service and a deep relationship with God.

   Honestly, I was disappointed and realized that the step backwards was deliberately done me; at that time, I felt very down because there were so many trials beyond my expectations that I often shouted, "I'm still young; why given something so much bigger? Harder than the others, my friends of my age enjoy youth and don't suffer as much as I do, I know that other people suffer too, but when I say things like this, I realize that what I got was beyond my greatest fear."

But I chose to retreat and said, "Maybe the devil will not bother me by retreating."

Like what just I've said...

I said, "God, I miss our services."

When I opened my Instagram story and replying some stories, one of them said, "Am broke, nobody cares about me, fuck u, u smell like something to me", etc.

   I thought he still suffering from something bad, and actually, he doesn't even have any friends...

He feels like, "Why do you chat with me? Why do you care about me? I said, "I have no smell something bad to you, just randomly replying to everyone's story, am serious," I think tomorrow he will chat with me again because I know how to feel lonely and really needs a friend. Still, I understand when we have friends who have a broken inside (like had a great defensive). We must have great patience, and I once gave up on this task because I felt "just take care of our problem self, I don't want to be bothered."

I don't know...

just my thoughts...